come-we-stay marriage at 40.
When my mind was made up that I had the right answers to my parents' questions,my mum sat me down again.
Again!
When Love Knocks, Open the Door with Wisdom, Wambui.
Come, Wambui, sit here beside me. Let me look into your eyes. I see that glow in you, the one that comes when a man’s name begins to settle in your heart. I know that feeling well. It can make the days brighter and the nights shorter. But before you take that step into a come we stay marriage, let me share what life has taught me.
Love is warm, yes, but warmth alone will not keep a home standing. Some fires cook the sweetest meals, and some fires, my dear, can burn the house to the ground. When a man says, “Let’s just stay together, no need for all the papers and ceremonies,” it can sound simple and beautiful. But ask yourself, what is he truly offering you? Is it love with roots, or just shade from the sun until the weather changes?
Watch him closely when the excitement fades. Does he carry his share when the load is heavy, or does he step aside? Does he think of tomorrow, or only live for today? These small things will tell you more than any sweet words could ever say.
Marriage is more than a roof over your heads. It is the joining of dreams, decisions, burdens, and blessings. You must test the ground before you build. There is no shame in waiting. Time is an honest friend. It will reveal what the eyes refuse to see in the early days.
You are not only choosing a man. You are choosing the father of your children, the keeper of your peace, and the one who will sit beside you when both your hands are wrinkled.
A come we stay marriage can work if its foundation is strong, but if the ground is weak, it can swallow your joy before you even realise it.
So breathe, my child. Watch. Listen.
Take your time. Love with your heart, but let your mind hold the map. For when the storms come, and they will, it is wisdom that will keep your home standing.
[Picture Courtesy]
#@40
'Time is an honest friend. It will reveal what the eyes refuse to see in the early days.' Unfortunately this comes only in hindsight.
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